The Shiny Box and Explanations

The other day many of you sent me lovely messages congratulating me on my sale of the option rights for HMC,N. (Thank you, by the way.) A few of you were unsure about the validity of the announcement since it didn't come from me, and still others wondered why I hadn't made the announcement myself. Oh, my darling readers, how little you understand how these things work. As the writer and creator I AM THE LAST TO KNOW THINGS OF ANY IMPORTANCE. I'm being a little hyperbolic, but not as much as you think. Example: I didn't know that my book had come out in Indonesia (I had agreed to the sale. It wasn't bootleg or anything shady like that.) until a reader found me on Twitter telling me how much they liked the book. I asked them, "Oh, are you reading it in English, or did it just come out?" She then informed me that the book came out two months before and then tweeted me a picture of the cover so I could see it. It was the first time I saw the Indonesian cover.

This happens all the time. It's not that there is a lot of secrecy or underhandedness or anything cloak and dagger about the whole affair, it's simply that there are too many cooks in the kitchen...and bakers, sous-chefs, dishwashers, waiters, and probably a customer or two who have wandered into the kitchen looking for the bathroom. Example: I have four agents. My main agent (let's refer to him as King Jason, just for kicks) handles All The Things and Makes Them Better*. King Jason is my literary agent. In his office there is a foreign rights agent who handles fancy deals like Indonesia, France and recently, Thailand!** (Any country that speaks English is handled by my publisher, Henry Holt. So they were responsible for my book becoming an audio book and for it making it's way to Australia and New Zealand***) Then I have a film agent and a TV agent (they are two different people that belong to the same agency. They are also amazing*****.) For the film stuff I have a lawyer. He probably works hard fighting dragons and drinking the blood of my enemies so that he can grow stronger. You know, typical lawyer stuff. 

Then I have editors. I have one big editor (in power, not in personal mass) who is sort of like King Jason in that she handles All the Things and Makes Them Better. We'll call her Emperess Noa******. She has assistants, and then there are the copy editors, designers, marketing, publicists, and so on and so forth.

That's a lot of people. And sometimes, on occasion, everyone thinks that someone else has told me Important News when they haven't. This is okay-if I need to know something, I ask and people either give me the answer, quickly find the answer, or direct me to the person hiding the answer under an overturned garbage can. 

I have a really amazing team and I couldn't be happier with them. Truly. I am lucky, guys.


Like I said, information can get lost. Which is what happened with the TV news. We've been negotiating with Fox for about twenty years*. We closed the deal, which is to say that we agreed that a deal should happen, about six months ago. In that time my lawyer has had to slay a lot of dragons, drink about a bathrub of blood of my enemies, and probably take some vengeful naps** just so my contract could finally arrive in my email box yesterday. Yes, yesterday.

Much to King Jason's annoyance, I am one of those people who don't consider things to be real until I have, say, a contract. So I told some family and a few friends, but otherwise I've kept the deal to myself, figuring I couldn't announce it until someone told me or I had the contract signed, sealed, and buried under a peat bog somewhere.

Nope. After all those kind messages, I emailed King Jason in a bit of a panic and said, "Is this Indonesia all over again? What is going on?" Only to get a phone call telling me that I could have announced it six when the deal closed. Someone probably told me that six months ago. I was most likely too busy playing with sock puppets, because that's what happens when we talk contracts. I don't understand them. They are very long and say lots of boring things. This is why I have all those agents and lawyers.***

Anyway, sorry for the confusion, folks. But yes, we sold the option rights to Fox. What does that mean? Not much. They just own me now. Mu ah ha ha ha! Well, not all of me. Henry Holt owns a sizable chunk, and I think there are a few loan sharks or gangsters who own a small percentage of me****. Okay, what it really means is that they have the option to make it into a TV show, movie, theatrical play or theme park*****. Or not. They don't have to do anything with it. They just have the option to do things if they so choose for a few years. Then I get my soul back. I mean, my option rights. 

I hope that they do something with it and it's amazing. I really do. But the odds are slim--there are a lot of factors involved in making a TV show. They could lose interest, the pilot could flop, my next book could bomb, the people interested in making it could leave, a plague of locusts could eat California, and so on and so forth. So, while we all hope to see Sam, Ramon, Brid, Brooke and Frank on the shiny box, I wouldn't get too excited until you start seeing the promos for an actual show.

If you see any promos or commercials, though, could you send me a message? I'm only partially kidding on this...someone might have forgot to tell me.

(I'm on facebook, Twitter, and you can email me at You know. Just in case.)

*I'm pretty sure that is his offical job description. He used to also send me the occasional strange youtube video or photos of his dog.

**Yay! *throws confetti*

***I found out after the deal was made. I didn't care. I was too busy dancing a celebratory jig****.

****It was truly a distrubing sight to behold.

*****They have not sent me any photos of their pets.

******I was going to call her queen, but then I thought it would make it sound like she was married to Jason and that's just weird.

*At least that is how it feels. In reality, over a year.

**It's a thing. Really. Shut up.

***I should make them sock puppets.

****It's a long story. Too long to tell without the use of puppets. 

*****I'm not kidding. That's in my contract.